An organic exploration: Don’t force it to happen
You know the song “Que sera, sera, whatever will be will be... the future's not ours to see, Que sera, sera...”? I love old films and old singer and standard music. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, Dinah Washington, Doris Day. I actually sing a Doris Day song to my daughter before naps and bedtime, which, to my delight, she has started to sing along with me. I get teary eyed and the giggles every time and then she giggles too. My heart explodes twice a day like clockwork. In addition to Doris’s “Twinkle Lullaby” she also sings my favorite version of “Que sera, sera” and it had me thinking about how horrible I am at being patient. Probably the worst. And it’s weird because I have a lot of patience for my daughter but when it comes to anything else, I have ZERO. I could try to blame it on motherhood, that I use it all on my daughter, or maybe it’s an only child thing, but I was always this way. Ask my husband and he will emphatically agree with this character trait of mine.
My patience is so thin for most things especially when it comes to things I want. When I see something I want, I want it now! Gosh, this blog post is turning into a musical. Now all I can hear is Veruca Salt singing and dancing around in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Anyway, I usually get so impatient that I resort to trying to make my own version of things. And I’d say over the last 12 years it’s mostly been furniture. I draw up the idea and my husband builds it. It’s actually one of the things I love about our relationship, being married to a talented man, especially since his strengths being in other areas than mine makes for a powerhouse team. It gets me super excited about our future and our dream of living on a farm with our respective studios out back. Creating, making and collaborating until we are old and grey.
And that brings me back to letting things happen as they may, letting it happen organically. Do any of you get impatient about the important life stuff? My husband and I are in limbo right now, like basically everyone else. It’s a really weird and hard place to be in. So many factors in the air that could push us in one direction or another. And they are both life changing. One direction sorta seeming like it’s better than the other, but it’s also the bigger, scarier life change with so many unknowns and chance. While being the scarier option also has the potential to make our dreams come true. The other option is more comfortable and slightly stagnate and seemingly the longer road to getting us closer to our dreams.
Then enters me: the master manipulator, pushing hard for things that just aren’t feasible. Maybe I push for the “I want it nows” because I need some sort of control over the unknown to make things more comfortable? Probably. It’s at least one factor. It may also be this awful life comparison factor. You know what I’m talking about: the one where you are close to 40, renting and have no place to call your own. Ugh, anyway, we will talk about comparisons another time. But what I’m getting at is that my desire to control the future may be a character trait but I think we all have the desires and life dreams that we hope and pray will happen sooner rather than later. We feel let down when we think we are headed in the right direction and it takes an unpredictable turn, because, well, that’s life. I think back on my life journey this far and it’s actually kind of awesome. And I’ve had very little control over it. If I’m being 100% honest here I’d say to my surprise it has turned out a lot better than I had planned it or even imagined it could be.
You know the song “Que sera, sera, whatever will be will be... the future's not ours to see, Que sera, sera...”? I love old films and old singer and standard music. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, Dinah Washington, Doris Day. I actually sing a Doris Day song to my daughter before naps and bedtime, which, to my delight, she has started to sing along with me. I get teary eyed and the giggles every time and then she giggles too. My heart explodes twice a day like clockwork. In addition to Doris’s “Twinkle Lullaby” she also sings my favorite version of “Que sera, sera” and it had me thinking about how horrible I am at being patient. Probably the worst. And it’s weird because I have a lot of patience for my daughter but when it comes to anything else, I have ZERO. I could try to blame it on motherhood, that I use it all on my daughter, or maybe it’s an only child thing, but I was always this way. Ask my husband and he will emphatically agree with this character trait of mine.
My patience is so thin for most things especially when it comes to things I want. When I see something I want, I want it now! Gosh, this blog post is turning into a musical. Now all I can hear is Veruca Salt singing and dancing around in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Anyway, I usually get so impatient that I resort to trying to make my own version of things. And I’d say over the last 12 years it’s mostly been furniture. I draw up the idea and my husband builds it. It’s actually one of the things I love about our relationship, being married to a talented man, especially since his strengths being in other areas than mine makes for a powerhouse team. It gets me super excited about our future and our dream of living on a farm with our respective studios out back. Creating, making and collaborating until we are old and grey.
And that brings me back to letting things happen as they may, letting it happen organically. Do any of you get impatient about the important life stuff? My husband and I are in limbo right now, like basically everyone else. It’s a really weird and hard place to be in. So many factors in the air that could push us in one direction or another. And they are both life changing. One direction sorta seeming like it’s better than the other, but it’s also the bigger, scarier life change with so many unknowns and chance. While being the scarier option also has the potential to make our dreams come true. The other option is more comfortable and slightly stagnate and seemingly the longer road to getting us closer to our dreams.
Then enters me: the master manipulator, pushing hard for things that just aren’t feasible. Maybe I push for the “I want it nows” because I need some sort of control over the unknown to make things more comfortable? Probably. It’s at least one factor. It may also be this awful life comparison factor. You know what I’m talking about: the one where you are close to 40, renting and have no place to call your own. Ugh, anyway, we will talk about comparisons another time. But what I’m getting at is that my desire to control the future may be a character trait but I think we all have the desires and life dreams that we hope and pray will happen sooner rather than later. We feel let down when we think we are headed in the right direction and it takes an unpredictable turn, because, well, that’s life. I think back on my life journey this far and it’s actually kind of awesome. And I’ve had very little control over it. If I’m being 100% honest here I’d say to my surprise it has turned out a lot better than I had planned it or even imagined it could be.
So your take away from today’s reading? Learn from me, life’s master puppeteer, it’s impossible to control your future. The future’s not ours to see, so let it be what it will be. And maybe, just maybe, it will turn out better than you imagined it ever could. And if you need to be in control (ahem, mostly directed at people like myself) lets promise each other to focus our attention on the small things, the day to day. And as always I’ll leave you with some food for thought: Until next time lets commit to reflecting on our positives. Maybe even write them down and then write down your own dreams. Control what you can and then let everything else happen organically. Be well my big dreamer friends.
-Lindsey
Comments